


Valentine's Day Sucks

by mnwood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Bunker Fluff, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Castiel, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Lingerie, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 09:51:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2344097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnwood/pseuds/mnwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Dean both hate Valentine's Day, so they decide to make it into a competition to see who can be more ridiculous just to piss off Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Day Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this post](http://deancasheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/97509050251/cas-and-dean-trying-to-outdo-each-other-on) of mine.

Valentine’s Day is arguably the dumbest holiday in the history of the world.

This will be Cas and Dean’s first one together, and neither of them even thought about it until _Sam_ had to fucking bring it up like the fucking romantic shithead that he is.

“What are you guys doing for Valentine’s Day?” he had asked all nonchalant one slow morning while they were quietly minding their own business drinking coffee in the kitchen. 

“Why the fuck would we do anything for Valentine’s Day?” Dean had retaliated. 

“Um, because it’s a tradition for couples, and you guys are a couple?”

“Who says we’re a couple?”

“I believe the half of your closet that is mine and the bruises on your neck are good indicators that we are, in fact, a couple,” Cas interrupted.

Dean turned an annoyed look at him, but Cas just tilted his head all cute and confused-like, and Dean rolled his eyes and looked away. “I hate Valentine’s Day.”

“I also think that it is one of the more superfluous, over-commercialized holidays,” Cas agreed. 

Dean wasn’t expecting that, and so he clapped Cas on the shoulder and smiled smugly at Sam. “Perfect. Cas and I both hate Valentine’s Day. Problem solved.”

“No, not problem solved. You have to do _something._ Anything. Go to dinner, have weird sex, do _something.”_

“Why are you being so weird about this, Sammy?”

Sam rubbed his eyes and sighed. “All you guys do is hunt together and sit around the bunker. You’ve been dating half a year and you’re already acting like an old married couple. It’s _annoying.”_

Dean turned back to Cas and they both frowned at each other. “We do other stuff,” Dean mumbled.

“Yes, we had intercourse two nights ago. We also showered together this morning,” Cas offered.

“Yeah, I know, that’s part of your _normal_ routine,” Sam countered. “All I’m saying is that you guys should do more stuff for and with each other or else you’re going to get sick of each other really fast." 

Dean hadn’t even thought about it, and he honestly couldn’t imagine ever boring of Cas. He liked him a whole hell of a lot, and not just because he has an angel-powered dick.

Neither of them said much to Sam after that, and Sam let it drop. But then, later that night as Cas and Dean were lazily making out in bed, Dean pulled away and asked, “Do you want to do anything for Valentine’s Day?”

“Valentine’s Day reminds me of all the cupids I’ve had to deal with in the past couple thousand years, so honestly, no. I don’t want to do anything for Valentine’s Day.”

“OK, me neither.” Dean pulled Cas back down and directed his attention to his neck instead of his mouth. “What if we messed with Sammy?”

Now it was Cas pulling away. “What do you mean?”

“You know, like, we do something really ridiculous on Valentine’s Day to confuse him or something.”

Cas wrapped a strong hand around Dean’s hip and started rubbing circles into the soft skin at his side. “What did you have in mind?”

“Mmm, um…”

“Am I distracting you?” Cas asked seriously as his hand moved under the waistband of Dean’s boxers and grabbed a handful of his ass.

“Shut up,” Dean said before pulling Cas back down.

An hour later, they lay side-by-side completely naked and spent. “I mean, like, we could buy each other extravagant gifts and play it off like we’re serious,” Dean continued through labored breaths.

“What?”

“Valentine’s Day—I’m back on Valentine’s Day. Track with me here, Cas.” 

“Sorry. It’s difficult to focus when I’ve recently had my dick in your ass. Yes, I think that would be amusing. Should we make it a game?”

Dean flipped over on his side so he could look at Cas. “How would we do that?” 

“We could make it a competition to see who can be more ridiculous.”

“Cas, that’s the best idea you’ve ever had. I could fuck you right now.” 

Cas turned his signature confused face at Dean. “That would be an interesting and probably unpleasant change of pace.”

“Just an expression, buddy.”

 

It’s now February 13, and Dean’s car is packed full of all the useless crap he plans on surprising Cas with tomorrow.

Sam has asked them more than a dozen times if they ever made any plans, and they both just keep responding, “It’s a surprise.” Sam, for good reason, doesn’t believe them. 

When they started going out, Dean taught Cas very early on that sleeping is really fun. Though Cas still doesn’t really need sleep, he conks out every night for a solid six or eight hours. Dean waits until Cas’ whole body goes completely still before he sneaks out of bed and to the garage to bring in all the stuff. When Dean crawls back under the covers an hour later, Cas makes an adorable whiny noise and burrows into his side.

The bed is cold when Dean wakes up the next morning, and he hears Cas rummaging around in the bathroom. He goes to knock on the door and gets a, “Use the other bathroom today,” in response. 

Huh. Wonder what that’s all about.

Once he’s pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed an extra toothbrush they keep in their nightstand, Dean is met with a conflicted Sam standing outside the door to his room.

“You really _did_ have a surprise.”

“Well, yeah. What? You thought we were lying?”

“Of course I thought you were lying. Does Cas know about all that stuff?”

Dean shrugs. “No.”

“Then why did you both say it was a surprise if it wasn’t a joint surprise?”

“We decided to surprise _each other_ , dumbass.”

Sam uncrosses his arms and looks over his shoulder for a second. “And _that’s_ what you went with?”

Dean puts a shit-eating grin on his face and answers genuinely, “He’s going to love it." 

Cas takes a long enough time doing whatever it is he’s doing that Dean has already had his first cup of coffee and has now decided to make heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast.

He’s moving the second pancake over to a plate when he hears, “Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas?” he asks without turning around. 

Sam bursts out laughing from his left. That’s enough incentive for Dean to turn around and promptly drop the spatula. 

Cas is naked save for a piece of white cloth safety pinned around his waist and between his legs, and too-small white wings attached to his back. He’s holding a crudely made bow and arrow in one hand.

“Cas, are you Cupid?” Dean asks seriously.

“Well, no. I mean—yes. I’m the human interpretation of Cupid. If I was actually trying to be a cupid, I would’ve been—”

“Totally naked, yeah, I remember,” Dean finishes for him.

They stare at each other for a minute, Dean’s eyes wandering over every inch of Cas until Sam clears his throat and says, “Uh, Dean? Pancakes?” 

Dean snaps out of it and continues cooking. It’s only then that he wonders if Cas even noticed the dozens of colorful flowers littering the main section of the bunker, or the giant stuffed animals holding hearts in all the chairs and couches. He’s too distracted by Cas’ expanse of skin to focus enough to ask.

Halfway through breakfast, Cas comments, “I enjoyed the flowers and teddy bears, Dean.”

“Oh? You noticed them? I wasn’t sure…” Why does he sound so timid? They’re doing this to prank Sam, damn it.

“Yes. I smelled each type of flower before I came in here.”

There’s a weird feeling in the pit of Dean’s stomach at that statement, and Dean worries that it’s something like warmth. Home. _Cas._

At the end of breakfast, Dean practically throws all of their dishes into the sink before he’s grabbing Cas by the wrist and yanking him back to their bedroom.

“Dean. Dean, what are you doing?”

“This was supposed to be a joke, Cas,” Dean answers as he undoes the safety pins and drops Cas’ cloth costume to the floor.

“Yes, did you not find it funny?”

Dean falls to his knees and massages Cas’ thighs as he licks at his cock to try to bring it to life. “What do _you_ think?”

“Dean—ah—”

Dean would be perfectly content sucking Cas’ dick most hours of every single day. Luckily for him, Cas lets him do it a lot more often than necessary (and frankly a lot more often than humanly possible but thankfully Cas has an angel dick), and therefore Dean is _very_ good at this. 

Within just a minute or so, Cas is completely hard and his legs have begun to shake. He drops a hand to Dean’s hair and hums and moans and repeatedly says Dean’s name like it’s a fucking prayer. An occasional Enochian word slips in there, and Dean’s never asked but he’s pretty sure they’re curse words.

When Cas gets close, he starts to thrust into Dean’s mouth, and Dean has to stay still to avoid an unfortunate accident. Dean sucks up everything Cas has to offer before wiping his mouth on his sleeve and standing so Cas can fall into his arms.

“All right, baby, c’mon, you can’t be that blissed out yet,” he soothes as Cas puts all of his weight on his chest.

Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s waist and squeezes. “Happ’ Valen’s Day, Dean.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, you idiot.”

  

While Cas naps off his orgasm, Dean reorganizes the bunker for what he’s got planned for dinner. He’s lighting the last of about a hundred candles when Sam walks in looking even more skeptical than usual.

“What is all this?”

“Um, Valentine’s Day crap for Cas?” 

“OK, yeah, that’s what I don’t get. Up until yesterday you were very anti-Valentine’s Day and now all the sudden it’s like Cupid came in here and vomited all over the place. What’s the deal?’

Dean rolls his eyes and walks over to Sam. “All right, fine. We decided to have a competition to see who could be more ridiculous and annoy you. But, uh, it’s actually been kind of fun." 

“You’re kidding.”

“Why would I make something like that up?”

“OK, well, in that case I’m going to be the judge.”

“What?” 

Sam gestures to the room full of candles. “If you’re trying to see who can be more ridiculous, I’ll determine the winner. It’ll be fun.”

“That’s…actually a pretty good idea.”

 

When Dean goes back to his and Cas’ room to wake Cas up for dinner, he finds the room empty and goes to knock on the door of the bathroom. 

“Cas? Dinner’s going to be ready soon.”

“OK, I’m coming,” Cas calls back from the other side of the door.

Cas doesn’t necessarily _need_ to eat, but he does anyway. Dean sometimes wonders how many human habits Cas will pick up from him and Sam before he just stops using his angel powers completely.

Dean sets up blankets and pillows on the floor of the candle room, and he puts their plates of food and glasses of wine (the fancy shit) down in the middle before Cas comes out of the bathroom. It’s not until it’s all set and ready to go that Dean realizes this is a lot less ridiculous than it is extremely romantic. He probably should’ve added some ugly decorations or something.

He’s turning to head back to the kitchen when he notices Cas staring at him from the hall. He’s wearing an Easter bunny costume, complete with big feet and floppy ears. Dean starts laughing so hard that he has to sit down in the nearest chair until he can compose himself.

Sam declares Cas the winner before they’ve even explained to him that Sam is the judge. 

Cas keeps the costume on all during dinner, and when they’re done he insists they go back to their bedroom because “I have something to show you, Dean.”

Once the door is locked behind them, Cas turns to Dean and says, “There’s a surprise under this. Why don’t you take it off me?” 

Oh _hell_ yeah, Cas is still winning this competition. Dean removes the bunny ears first and then moves onto the rest of the costume. After a couple minutes of struggling to figure out how to get it off, Cas stops him and says, “OK, never mind. Go have a seat on the bed, I’ll take it off and you can watch.” 

It’s probably the weirdest thing that’s aroused Dean, but it’s Cas so of course Dean thinks it’s sexy to watch him strip out of a furry white and pink costume. 

It gets a whole lot worse when Dean starts to see what’s underneath. 

Cas is wearing a black corset with blue trim, a g-string that’s barely covering anything at all, and matching stockings that appear to be attached to nothing but are still managing to stay up. 

“ _Shit_ , Cas,” Dean breathes as he pulls his own pants off and takes himself in his hand.

“No,” Cas growls as he reaches out to stop Dean’s hand. 

Dean definitely does not make a sad whimpering noise before Cas drops to his knees and takes his entire length in his mouth in one go.

If Dean is good at blow jobs, then Cas is a fucking expert. Dean’s such a mess that he barely registers when Cas reaches a hand behind him and starts to open him up. _When the fuck did Cas put lube on his fingers._

Dean’s so insanely desperate by the time Cas has three fingers in him that he’s rocking back on Cas’ hand and then fucking up into his mouth. And somehow Cas maintains the right rhythm and finds Dean’s prostate over and over and over again.

When Dean can’t take it anymore, Cas effortlessly maneuvers them on the bed so that he’s holding Dean in his lap and fucking up into him.

The scrape of lace against his ass and the feel of the corset in his clenched hands are enough to send Dean over the edge before Cas can even get a hand on him.

Cas never lasts long when Dean comes untouched, and he drops his head against Dean’s chest and hugs him tight as he orgasms.

“I think we made an incorrect judgment about Valentine’s Day,” Cas comments.

Dean laughs and removes himself from Cas’ lap so they can get cleaned up. “Yeah, well, I’m not complaining.” 

“I have something for you,” Cas says as Dean rips his corset off and tosses it to the side to be cleaned later.

“Oh really?”

“Yes, hold on.” Cas disappears then and reappears almost immediately wearing boxers and a t-shirt and not smelling like sex. He holds a Victoria’s Secret bag out to Dean. 

“You didn’t.” 

Cas smirks and nods.

Dean rips through the tissue paper and pulls out a beautiful pair of red lacey panties. “How did you know?” 

Cas shrugs. “Sometimes I just know.”

Yeah, Cas definitely wins this year.

 

The following year, Cas and Dean start preparing for Valentine’s Day several weeks early, much to Sam’s amusement. (“I’ve created romantic monsters.”)

Dean puts funny little Valentine’s cards kids give each other in elementary school all around the bunker with a hidden message in them, and Cas spends the whole day trying to gather them all and figure out the message. It’s 10 p.m. when Cas shouts from the meeting room, “Did you really make 147 cards just to tell me that you like the taste of my cock, Dean?” 

Dean really thinks he’s going to win since all Cas did was fill the dungeon with balloons, but then Cas tells him to pop every single one of them, and it turns out they all have a silly coupon inside of them for different things (most of them sexual favors). Dean’s convinced Cas found the idea online because there’s no way he would know about such a ridiculously cliché human gift.

Sam calls it a draw since their ideas were so similar, and they go to bed pissed at him for being indecisive. 

Dean wins the next year for buying Cas a guinea pig, but it was a close call since Cas gave Dean one of those stupid certificates indicating that a star’s been named after him. 

The next year Dean gets a cordless microphone and follows Cas around all day singing cheesy love songs to him. Sam wants to tell him he won just to get him to shut up, but then Cas reveals that he had a stripper pole installed in the dungeon and that he took lessons for this day. He does an entire routine fully clothed while Sam and Dean cry laughing. Even Dean agrees that he should win.

Cas doesn’t even stand a chance the year after when Dean buys a 50-foot scroll and fills the entire thing with a dramatic love letter. It’s meant to be silly and dumb, but Cas cries about it for three days.

Dean turns 40 the next year and Cas gets all sappy and takes him to Europe for several weeks to celebrate, so they don’t get to have their competition.

But Dean’s already got the next five or so years planned out. He never knew how fun it would be to actually have traditions with someone, especially with the two people he loves most in the world.

Yeah, Valentine’s Day is his favorite holiday.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [deancasheadcanons](http://deancasheadcanons.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, and [this is my website.](https://maddmadeshop.com/)
> 
> [Rebloggable link](http://deancasheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/98147862801/ao3-based-on-this-post-of-mine-valentines)


End file.
